What did the Cap'n do on his vacation?

• Lit a fire. A BIG FIRE.
• Drove fast. WITH MY EYES SHUT.
• Got laid. MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT.
• Threw some rocks. SOME BIG ROCKS.
• Drank 12 bottles of Magner's Irish Cider, 3 bottles of Aussie red wine and did a ton of shots. ALL AT ONCE.
• Completely trashed a house. A BIG HOUSE.
• Tested a battery with my tongue. A CAR BATTERY.
• Enjoyed some nice quiet time. WITH MY GUNS.
• Performed a ritual ceremony. IN THE NAME OF ZEUS.