It's the end of the Line, folks. End of the line.

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1519, Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan set out from Spain on a voyage to find a western passage to the Spice Islands in Indonesia.

(Magellan was killed en route, but one of his ships eventually circled the world. HELL YEAH!)

Today's animated ACTION image!

HELL YEEEAAAAHHHH!!!

Today in ACTION news!

Florida man takes 50-foot dive for $20

PALMETTO, Florida -- Mark Giorgio figured a 50-foot plunge was worth $20. Giorgio, 47, was counting his money and walking across the U.S. 41 bridge over the Manatee River Monday when a $20 bill blew out of his hand and flew over the rail.

He followed. And plummeted 50 feet into the river. Then he swam about 100 yards to fish the bill from the water.

"I got my money back, hell yeah," Giorgio told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. "Twenty bucks is a lot of money when you're broke."

He was fished from the water by a passing Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officer.

Giorgio, who said he was already suffering from a broken collarbone, refused treatment for cuts and scrapes he suffered in the fall.

Today's animated ACTION sky penis!

WTF?
HELL YEAH!

Today's incredible flying football players!

Now, that's ACTION, baby!
HIKE YEAH!

Today's Fez-Laden ACTION Band!

HOOMPA! HOOMPA! HOOMPA!
HELL YEAH!

Your daily dose of band saw ACTION!

KAZZZZERRRINNG!
HELL YEAH!
CUT THAT SHIT UP, PACO!

Today's barrel rolling ACTION!

ROLL WITH IT, BABY!
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION lessons from a former mob boss

Lesson No. 1: Men fight. BUT THEY DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

Lesson No. 2: Men tolerate no assault on their character or on their classic cars.

Lesson No. 3: Manliness is in the blood AND in the urine.

Lesson No. 4: A man spends time with family. No, not that family.

Lesson No. 5: Men can do prison time.... federal "pound me the ass" prison time.


Lesson No. 6: Real men don't snitch, but if they do, they don't make stuff up. Or they can make stuff up, really. Either way is fine.

No. 7: Mafia life stinks... like prosciutto and salami.

COME GIT R' SOME ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

Today's space tourist ACTION hottie!

Anyone want to guess what Russian
cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin is thinking?
HELL YEAH!

Today's hardcore shofor playing ACTION!

HOOOOOT! HOOOOOT!
HELL YEAH!

Today's hot redneck ACTION!

Me n' Darrell... we loves it.
HELLS YEAH, WE DO'S!

Today's confusing ACTION image!

Confusing?
Flutag?
HELL YEAH!

Today's lazy ACTION American!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION wedding shot!

Wedding "shot"?
Pun intended?
HELL YEAH!

Today's animated AT-AT ACTION!

My lord, I've reached the
main power generators.
The shield will be down in moments,
you may start your landing.
HELL YEAH!

Today's astronaut ACTION!

The crew of the space shuttle Atlantis began the mission's third and final spacewalk this morning.


Astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper helped deploy a radiator for the international space station.

HELL YEAH, OVER?

The CAB's ACTION Seal Of Approval!

HELL YEAH!

Today's confusing ACTION graph!

Hm. Yes. I like what you've done here. Very strateigc!

HELL YEAH!

ACTION Hottie, anyone?

HELL YEAH!

Today's Bionic ACTION Couple!

Is that a putter on his right arm?

HELL YEAH!

HOLY HARDCORE GEEK n' NERD ACTION!

HELL YEAH.
(said in a lame robot voice)

When in doubt...

...pull the old school Spanish Armada ACTION Team out!

HELL YEAH!

Today's animated Eco-ACTION-Trap!

NOW COMES WITH
URINE TRAPPING ACTION!
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1940, during the Battle of Britain in WWII, the tide turned as the Luftwaffe sustained heavy losses inflicted by the Royal Air Force.

HELL YEAH, OLD BOYS!

Today's classic ACTION albums!

And now... ACTION... IN COLOR!

Chuck Norris is ON BALLS.
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION movie quote!

Frank:

"The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules. "

HELL YEAH!

Today's animated ACTION dog!

GO, BOY, GO!

HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1914, during World War I, the First Battle of the Marne ended in an Allied victory against Germany.

HELL YEAH!

Today's animated ACTION freak out!

YOU GOT HIM!
HELL YEAH!

Today's Man of ACTION!

Let's face it people, this guy is the shit.
He primes, he paints, he pounds it out.
Give the man a chance,
and he'll use a blowtorch if need be.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Mr. Corecoatings!
HELL YEAH!

Today's awesome ACTION animation!

Neo, you're still a crazy bastard!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Amazing ACTION Clan shots!

HII YAH!!
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION movie trailer!

Finally!
Incontrovertible proof that the
United States Coast Guard
is nothing but tough guys
and kick ass helicopters!
HELL YEAH!

My Lifelong War Against The Bees & The Spiders

UGLY
STUPID
VIOLENT
DISRESPECTFUL
CREEPY-CRAWLEY
SICK - MINDED
MO'FO'S!

I don't know if these buggy little fuckers are working together or not, but I can tell you this much:

I hate them and I have hated them with a phobia filled passion since I was a wee Cap'n lad back in good ol' 1970's.

I don't care if the bees make sweet, sweet honey or if the spiders eat a variety of other annoying bastard bugs.

I FUCKING HATE
THE BEES
AND
THE SPIDERS!!!!

AND

I WILL KILL THEM
AT ANY AND ALL
OPPORTUNITY
I AM GIVEN!!!!

I AM SERIOUS HERE, PEOPLE! THESE CREEPY LITTLE BASTARDS DESERVE TO DIE A HORRID DEATH!

Why? Because they show us no respect! They invade our homes, offices and even our cars. They hurt us and bite us and tease us and taunt us!

I mean, they're lower than even those stupid asshead mosquito mother fuckers. GOD! Those guys piss me off too!

I mean, WTF, MATE?

Once they are dead... having been killed by broom, chemical, fire, fist, frost or frippery... I like to leave their dead carcasess lying around AS A WARNING TO THE REST OF THEM.

If they fuck with The Cap'n, their gonna get the pipe... THE DEATH PIPE... uh, whatever that means.

So, bring it on, you multi-leg ugly fucksticks. Bring it down! Bring it down to Chinatown and I will eat your little insect hearts for breakfast!

I thank you for your time.

(this message brought to you by last night's bottle of Yellow Tail Shiraz - HELL YEAH!)

Today's animated stick figure ACTION!

BURN YOURSELF, BOY!
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1966, "Star Trek" premieres on NBC-TV.

HELL YEAH!

Today's Antarctic ACTION Pigs!

OINK! OINK!
HELL YEAH!

Today's awesome ACTION shot!

The Best ACTION is...

...AOB ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

Today's animated Martian Dust Devil!

This awesome ACTION animation shows a dust devil scooting across a plain inside Gusev Crater on Mars as seen from the NASA rover Spirit's hillside vantage point during the rover's 459th martian day, or sol (April 18, 2005). The individual images were taken about 20 seconds apart by Spirit's navigation camera, and the contrast has been enhanced for anything in the images that changes from frame to frame, that is, for the dust devil. HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION MAN and ACTION WOMAN!

The Baroness

and

Dee Snyder!

HELL YEAH!

Today's wicked awesome ACTION gift!

Shit, man, that makes me think of the Coast Guard!

HELL YEAH!

What does the Cap'n do for ACTION?

I like to hang out with Dr. Murk
and toss baseball bats at his head!
HELL YEAH!

Today's classic video game ACTION shot!

Get 'em, Snoopy!

Get that RED BASTARD!

HELL YEAH!

Just when you thought his ACTION couldn't get any worse...

...Chuck does it again!

HELL YEAH!

Who wants some mortar firing ACTION!?!?

I DO! I DO!
HELL YEAH!

Today's Man of ACTION!

Luke Wilson.

Clearly, this man is THE SHIT.

HELL YEAH!

Who wants today's ACTION animation!?!?

YOU DO! HELL YEAH!

Today's Marching Band ACTION Men!

Clearly, these guys mean ACTION. I bet all they do is play Wipeout over and over and over...

HELL YEAH!

Today's Wannabe ACTION Hero!

OH MY GOD!
IT'S THE AMAZING ZEBRAMAN!
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION packed consumer product!

Shock Coffee
Supercaffeinated java beans and drinks - HELL YEAH!!!!

New York-based Shock has developed a coffee blend with twice the normal active ingredient. "Beans that grow at a lower altitude have a higher caffeine content," vice president for sales Serge "Shakey" Karnegie explains.

The company sells regular beans, candy-covered beans, and a brew marketed as an energy drink.

The tagline: "Sleep is overrated." Nice.

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1901, President William McKinley was shot by anarchist Leon Czolgosz at the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo, N.Y.

McKinley died eight days later; he was succeeded by Vice President Theodore "Mr. Tooserious" Roosevelt.

HELL YEAH!

Need some crazy ACTION?

Ol' Dirty El Jefe has you covered, mang.
HELL YEAH, BITZNACHOS!

Today's amazing unitard ACTION force!

UNITARDS... UNITE!!!!

Santa? You wear a unitard?

HELL YEAH!

Today's animated GEEK FIGHT ACTION!

Wow. That's geeky.

HELL YEAH!

Today's awesome animation ACTION shot!

HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

In 1972, American Bobby Fischer won the international chess crown in Reykjavik, Iceland, defeating Boris Spassky of the Soviet Union. HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION chicken!

Should he go for it?

HELL YEAH!

Today's Wild Chess ACTION!

21. b5
22.Bg5 Re8
23.d5 exd5
24.Rxd5 Nb6
25.Rd4 Qc2 2
6.Rc1 Qf5
27.g4

HELL YEAH!

Speaking of Star Trek...

...when Kirk and Company need some ACTION, they go to Muslim World!

HELL YEAH, CAPTAIN!

Today's 3-D Star Trek ACTION shot!

Fire phasers!

HELL YEAH, CAPTAIN!

This mo'fo knows what's up.

Today's small ass race cars animated ACTION!

VROOM! VROOM!
Aren't they cute!?!?
HELL YEAH!

Today's science in ACTION image!

That's science, nigga!

HELL YEAH!

Today's old school ACTION stories!

HELL YEAH!

The Doctor IS IN!

Did you take your ACTION today?

HELL YEAH!

Today's awesome ACTION shot!

HULK SMASH!

HELL YEAH!

More ACTION from Conan and....

Mmmhmm. That's right. HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION squirrel!

HELL YEEAAAAAAAAAAH!

Today's animated test tube ACTION!

ALCHEMY ROCKS!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION storm!

"Mmmm... ola, Ernesto!

HELL YEAH!"

Today's animated popcorn ACTION neon palace!

HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTON history!

On this date in 1965, Gemini 5, carrying astronauts Gordon Cooper and Charles ("Pete") Conrad, splashed down in the Atlantic after eight days in space. HELL YEAH!

And now, some ACTION from Conan O'Brien

"HEYYY! HEYYY! FINNNNLAND! HELL YEAH!"

Today's TRON arcade game ACTION instructions!

(click for a larger image)
HELL YEAH!

Today's awesome ACTION movie idea!

WarGames II: Joshua's Revenge

It is 23 years later and David Lightman is the Director of Intelligent Computing for the civilian segment of NORAD. Dr. John McKittrick, who recruited David after the infamous incident in 1983, has been "dead" for 5 years. David is now in charge and is working on new theoretical systems far superior to the old familiar WOPR system.

During David’s latest efforts to test the integration of some of the new systems with the old legacy systems, it was discovered that the root program for the WOPR (aka.: Joshua) was stored away and never actually terminated or deleted. In fact, Joshua has been playing his games in a contained cyberspace ever since... and learning at an exponential rate.

When one of David's technicians inadvertently "releases" Joshua’s program, he emerges far more advanced and intelligent and now he is ready to replay and, this time win, his game of Global Thermonuclear War. Only this time he knows he can't just play the game, he has to make it real.

Dr. Steven Falken, who is now 75 years old, is called in to help bring the world back from extinction. Falken quickly discovers that Joshua never really “thought” that "the only winning move was not to play." Instead, Falken learns that Joshua planned all along that his next move would be to lay low, re-strategize, study the enemy and plan a stealthy attack meant to shock and awe them into total submission or eventual destruction no matter what the initial senario was called.

Except, now Joshua has taken sides not against the Russians… but against all of humanity. HELL YEAH!

And now some ACTION advice from The CAB:

When in doubt,
put your Mountie out.
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION mascot!

My dear CABbies, I give you, TWIPSY from Germany's Expo 2000 World's Fair!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION train!

WOOOOOO! HOOOOOO!
HELL YEAH!

Who wants some old school Superman ACTION?

YOU DO!
HELL YEAH!

Today's animated ACTION flyby!

Heeeeeeeellllll yeeeaaaahhhh!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1947, legendary bullfighter Manolete was mortally wounded by a bull during a fight in Linares, Spain; he was 30. HELL YEAH!

Today's Teeny Tiny Explosive Animated ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Confusing ACTION Image!

WTF? HERU UN!

Who means ACTION?

These guys mean ACTION!
HELL YEAH!

Meanwhile at the Super Secret Second CAB Headquarters Office & Online Support Center (aka: SSSCABHQOOSC)

"Mhmmm... yes, very strategic."

HELL YEAH!

Today's animated inflatable ACTION shot!

Puhsssssssssss....
HELL YEAH!

Cricket Spitting ACTION anyone?

PTUI!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Power Rangers ACTION sequence

HELL YEAH, GUNTRON!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in, 1944, during World War II, Paris was liberated by Allied forces after four years of Nazi occupation.

ENFER OUAIS!

Today's Hoff Shot

HELL YEAH, MICHAEL!

Today's Old School ACTION shot!

I DEMAND SATISFACTION!

HUT! HUT! HO!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION sign!

Today's ACTION MAN!

Don't fuck with this man or you'll get GORED! FIRE GORED!

HELL YEAH!

BREAKING NEWS!

The CAB is getting some KICK ASS new digital systems installed so we can bring you even more ACTION! HELL YEAH!

Today's animated ACTION shot!

FISH FIGHTING = ACTION
HELL YEAH!

What did the Cap'n do on his vacation?

• Lit a fire. A BIG FIRE.
• Drove fast. WITH MY EYES SHUT.
• Got laid. MORE TIMES THAN I CAN COUNT.
• Threw some rocks. SOME BIG ROCKS.
• Drank 12 bottles of Magner's Irish Cider, 3 bottles of Aussie red wine and did a ton of shots. ALL AT ONCE.
• Completely trashed a house. A BIG HOUSE.
• Tested a battery with my tongue. A CAR BATTERY.
• Enjoyed some nice quiet time. WITH MY GUNS.
• Performed a ritual ceremony. IN THE NAME OF ZEUS.
  

It's official...

...Pluto has NO ACTION.

HELL YEAH!

Murk & Malach bring you more AUDIO ACTION!

These mo'fo's know where it's at, yo!
Click here to check out their latest podcast.
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1814, British forces invaded Washington, setting fire to the Capitol and the White House. Stupid fuckin' Red Coats? HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION ORDERS from The Gunny!

Listen to this man.
Listen very carefully.
SIR, HELL YEAH, SIR!

Special ACTION MESSAGE from The Cap'n!

Folks, I am going on vacation.
I've had enough of this ACTION
and now I need to find some more.

Don't worry, I'll be back next week.
In the meantime, keep on keepin' on!
Am I going to have a good time?
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1977, USSR performs a nuclear test at Eastern Kazakh/Semipalitinsk.

HELL YEAH!

Who wants some ASCII ACTION? YOU DO!

You haven't seen Star Wars until you've seen it in the original ASCII format!



Go grab some power converters from Toshi Station, click the link above and enjoy the show! HELL YEAH!

Pope Benedict and his ACTION GANG!

When The Pope needs action, he summons his HOLY ACTION GANG and they kick some rightous ASS! HELL YEAH!

Today's Retro ACTION Comic Book!

All they need is a little Cobra Commander ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

The Captain at home. ACTION HOME!

YE SAYTH A HELLS YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1777, American forces won the Revolutionary War Battle of Bennington. HELL YEAH YOU FUCKIN' BRITS!

Give me some Tron Music Video ACTION or... GIVE ME DEATH!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Gordon Gekko ACTION quote!

"Ever wonder why fund managers can't beat the S&P 500? 'Cause they're sheep, and sheep get slaughtered. HELL YEAH!"

Hot BUG on BUG ACTION!

I know you like it.
HELL YEAH!

THIS JUST IN!

Large Telescope + Assembly Animation = ACTION?

HELL YEAH!

Tonight in ACTION television!

(there is no HELL YEAH required here)

Today's random ACTION!

WOO HOO!
FIRE IT UP!
HELL YEAH!

Today's Classic AOB ACTION Shot!

That's classic, baby.
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

This date in 1945 was proclaimed V-J Day by the Allies, a day after Japan agreed to surrender unconditionally.

MasterCard commercial ACTION anyone?

1960's cost per X-15 Hypersonic Rocket Plane: $2,000,000
Estimated price per flight time second: $2,000
Landing so hard you break the plane in half: PRICELESS!

HELL YEAH!

Today's mysterious ACTION device!

My god... what is it?
Do you think it's a bomb?
HELL YEAH!

You want some PIG RACING ACTION?

HELL YEAH YOU DO!
SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!

Today's ON BALLS ACTION shot!

On balls.
In balls.
Whatever.
HELL YEAH!

Today's random ACTION job!

Admit it.
Sandblasting is cool.
HELL YEAH!

And now for the latest ACTION news!

Machete-wielding woman arrested outside White House

WASHINGTON -- A 32-year-old woman wielding a machete was arrested Sunday outside the White House, the Secret Service said.

Spokeswoman Kim Bruce said Ashwak Saleh was taken into custody and charged with possession of a prohibited weapon after she displayed a 13-inch machete on the sidewalk outside the White House.

Saleh was arrested at 2:20 p.m. and taken to Washington Metro Police Department 3rd district for processing.

Witnesses said Saleh was sitting on the sidewalk when she pulled the machete out of a leather sleeve and began sharpening it on the edge of the sidewalk.

The witnesses said passersby then alerted Secret Service officers, one of whom approached the woman and told her to "Drop the blade."

To that, Saleh said, "What are you going to do -- shoot me?"

The office replied by saying "hell yeah, if I have to I will."

The witnesses said the officer repeated his command, then took Saleh into custody when she wouldn't comply.

Today's Bad Movie ACTION shots!

HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1994, the US space telescope Hubble photographs Uranus with rings.

I'm not sure what kind of ACTION this is...

...but I like it.
HELL YEAH!

Today's Audio ACTION Message!

So, you're looking for some funny ACTION?

Well, baby, The CAB delivers!
HELL YEAH!

Today's Confusing ACTION figure equation

That does not make sense.

HELL NO!

Today's spelunking ACTION shot!

Is that totally sweet?
HELL YEAH!

This just in from THE ACTION CORPS!

It seems that the CAB teams in Europe have been busy. How busy?

BEER BUSY!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Wacky ACTION Animation!

Mining for gold are ya?

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION train!

CHOO CHOO?
HELL YEAH!

The Physics of ACTION!

This animation demonstrates the natural ACTION FORCE at play in the space surrounding our planet. ACTION FORCE is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together. HELL YEAH!

Your Daily Dose of TRON ACTION!

Every one needs a little Jet Bradley ACTION from time to time.

HELL YEAH!

And now for some proper English ACTION!

Oh, well, I do say, hell yeah, old chap!

A little spanish ACTION dance anyone?

Nombre si!

Today's Classic ACTION comic!

WAR!
HUHNN!
HELL YEAH, Y'ALL!

Today's Video Game ACTION shot!

KA-BLAMO!
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1909, the SOS distress signal was first used by an American ship, the Arapahoe, off Cape Hatteras.

Dude! ACTION! TO THE EXTREME!

Dude, man, that's hardcore.
Hardcore.
HELL YEAH!

Today's Audio ACTION Message!

Who wants a little STATE POLICE ACTION!

Don't you just love it when they get all fired up like that?

HELL YEAH!

Today's GRABBER OF ACTION!

HOLD ON TIGHT FOR ACTION, SON!
HELL YEAH!

ACTION ALERT! ACTION ALERT!

Terrorists were in the final stages of planning to blow up planes heading from the United Kingdom to the United States, U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told reports from The CAB on Thursday.

The plans were "like, totally suggestive of an al Qaeda plot," he said. British police said they had forcefully arrested 21 suspects in a hollywood-esque AMAZING ACTION PACKED police raid.

These suspects were considered to be the key players in the plot to blow up passenger jets flying between the United Kingdom and the United States.

Actor turned jet pilot, John Travolta stated that he thought this was "um, so uncool. I don't think I like this. So, I think I'm, um, going to just fly my own planes. Excuse me, please, for it is time for John Travolta to dance."

Police said they were still raiding businesses and homes, and Chertoff said it was unclear if all suspects were in custody. Chertoff said the plotters were "getting close to the execution phase." We'd like to point out at this time that the word "execution" is cool.

"There were very concrete steps under way to execute all elements of the plan," he said.

When asked if he thought there still might be terrorists involed in the plot who have not yet been arrested, Chertoff said "hell yeah."

Alert levels were raised at U.S. and British airports. Sweet.

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 2001, Space shuttle Discovery roared into orbit on a mission to deliver a fresh crew ready for some awesome SPACE ACTION to the international space station.

HELL YEAH!

More AUDIO ACTION than you can handle!

Sit down. Strap in. Brace yourself.

The fight... no, THE BATTLE of a lifetime is here. Are you ready? Are you really ready? R U READY FOR ACTION!?!?

Then, click here and let's get to it!

HELL YEAH!

Dude, that's some rockin' ACTION!

HELL YEAH, BRO!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date 1963, Britain's Great Train Robbery took place as thieves made off with 2.6 million pounds in banknotes.

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION machine!

What is it?
What does it do?
Wanna bet it does something cool?
HELL YEAH!

These kids are gonna see some ACTION from the backside of their Dad's hand!

HELL YEAH!

Alternate ACTION Blogs

The State Action Blog
Calvin's Climate Action Blog
Howard Dean's 2004 Action Blog
Class Action Defense Blog
Man Of Action Blog
NBX Sports Action Blog
Character-In-Action Blog
Fair Tax Action Blog
New Jersey Citizens Action Blog
UK Economics Action Blog

It's a bunch of action-less faggots, if you ask me.
Is The CAB a better ACTION blog?
HELL YEAH!

Today's Animated ACTION Index

Does that compute?
HELL YEAH!

You wish you had an ACTION badge like this!

BANG! BANG!
HELL YEAH!

Nowadays, kids need more ACTION!

Video games just aren't cutting it anymore.

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION poster!

Got black power?
HELL YEAH!

Wow. I'm impressed with this guy's ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION tee-shirt!

Do you know someone
who might like this shirt?
HELL YEAH YOU DO!

Today's Awesome ACTION Shot!

HELL YEAH, MOUNTAIN MAN!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1942, U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start of the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during World War II.

HELL YEAH!

I'll never understand Asian ACTION!

Is this somewhat disturbing?
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION PACKED senior citizen!

Gun-toting granny still firing at age 82

JANESVILLE, Wis. --Not even triple-bypass surgery has kept Rita Roherty from the shotgun shooting that has been her life's passion. The 82-year-old great-grandmother underwent surgery last year, and then recovered to win a bronze medal in the women's shooting division of the Badger State Games in June.

She hit 91 of 100 clay pigeons to take third place in the competition, three years after winning the gold.

"When a gun fits you, it don't kick," she said of her pet Browning Lightning 12-gauge over-under shotgun.

Roherty, born Rita McAuliffe in 1923, had 14 children in 28 years of marriage before her husband, Donald Glynn, died. Then she met George Roherty, who took her trap shooting on the couple's first date in 1973.

"It was a very good couples thing to do," she said.

She says she shoots because she likes competing. When she won her gold medal in shooting, she hit enough clay pigeons to tie a woman half her age, then won in a shoot-off by hitting all 10 pigeons, she recalled.

She said she intends to keep shooting as long as she can still hold the gun, and she'll take on men as well as women.

Roherty admits she sometimes can't resist asking competitors, "You let an old lady beat you? HELL YEAH YOU DID!"

Tonight, we make history. ACTION HISTORY!

Click here for more details.
HELL YEAH!

And, now, loyal subjects, I'd like to present to you: THE KING & QUEEN OF ACTION!

Aweee... what a cute couple!

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS?

HELL YEAH!

This fuckin' kid needs some new ACTION!

This is not worthy of a
HELL YEAH!

Come git some UZI ACTION!

Oh baby, that's hot.

UZI HOT!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Hardcore ACTION shot!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION CRAZY mo'fo's!

Oy! Get him out of th' shoppe, lad!

I say, HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION product!

Israelis look for ACTION in the craziest places!

Find any ACTION yet, boys? Keep looking and I bet you will!

HELL YEAH!

I don't know what the hell this is...

But it sure does make
me think of ACTION!
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1790, the United States Coast Guard had its beginnings as the Revenue Service.

I'm hungry for some ACTION FOOD.

COOOOME AND GET IT!!!!


HELL YEAH!

ACTION is alive and well in nature!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION Anniversary!

This picture was taken three years ago today!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?

HELL YEAH!*



*no, not really.

Today's Awesome ACTION Shot!

That little green bastard can throw anything at me that he thinks will make a difference. In the end, I always win. Always. Why? Because I am The Captain. That's why.

HELL YEAH!

There sure is a lot of ACTION in this image!

HELL YEAH!

Need some ACTION today?

Eat a mutha-fuckin' table, yo!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION MAN!

Meet Bob.

Bob has a thing for ping pong.

Bob finds all of his daily ACTION in ping pong.

The sad part is that no one wants to play against Bob so Bob plays against the wall.


Why is Bob our ACTION man of the day?

Because Bob is dedicated. Bob is so fucking dedicated to ACTION that he spends hours upon hours in his parents basement (where he lives) living a life of secluded, one sided, sports laden, ACTION.

Bob... we salute you.

HELL YEAH!

OH MAN, THAT'S SWEET!!!!!

Nothing makes me happier than seeing something having the shit blown out of it.

HELL YEAH!

Finally, the world gets it's first look at the newly discovered ACTION GENE!

THAT'S AMAZING!
HELL YEAH!

This ACTION shot speaks for itself.

HELL YEAH!

The NFL finally purchases a CAB ACTION SIMULATOR!

Lookin' good, numba 74, lookin' good!

HELL YEAH!

Concept drawings for the new ACTION SUIT!

I dig anything with a helmet.

HELL YEAH!

Get yer FIGHT on!

HELL YEAH!






FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

The Quintessential MAN of ACTION!

CHUCK NORRIS!
HELL YEAH!

Clearly, this man is looking for some ACTION!

He's gonna git ya! He's gonna git ya! HELL YEAH!

Back by popular demand... it's time for some ROCKETEER ACTION!

WHIZ!
BANG!
BOOM!
HELL YEAH!

A little old school movie ACTION anyone?

The Walking Dead?

HELL YEAH!

Today's SPAAAACE ACTION shot!

HELL YEAH!

Two more ACTION animations for yesterday's CAB POLL!

Are these ones any better?
HELL YEAH they are!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1914, Germany declared war on France. War? HELL YEAH!

Want some hot Gates-on-Gates ACTION?

The CAB delivers, baby.

HELL YEAH!

Today's disturbing ACTION figure!

Is this little badass full of evil action? HELL YEAH!

What's your ACTION Gauge reading?

Mine's hot, baby.
REAL HOT!
HELL YEAH!

Today's Man Of ACTION!

Officer T. William "Tinky" Winks works for the Fall River, MA Police Department. Although he was hired to run their new D.A.R.E. program, he has since taken over the reigns of The Murk & Malach Show security detail from Mr. Tooserious. We salute you, o brave one! For you are a MAN OF ACTION! HELL YEAH!

The latest, greatest ACTION CAR!

That'll get you a job! HELL YEAH!

CAB POLL: The ACTION is all up to you!

Who has more ACTION?






Picard VS. Chunk?












Bubblicious Blast Wave?












Dr. Murk's car?











Hijinx Hitler?









Or coked up crowd?






(obviously, I would vote for Picard vs. Chunk! HELL YEAH!)

Today's Amazing ACTION Shot!

Is Mr. Fantastic making his getaway?
HELL YEAH he is!

Ladies & GentleMEN, I'd like to introduce...

...THE DOUBLE BUCKLED ACTION BELT!

HELL YEAH!

Wow! I had no idea the brain worked this way.

Here we see a CGI representation of some ACTION stimuli (shown in red) being processed by the still misunderstood actionathalmus portion of the human brain (shown in green.)

Doctors who viewed this astounding animation were reported to have said: "HELL YEAH!"

Today's various ACTION signs!

I don't know what is going on here, but it looks like ACTION to me!

Gravity: it's not just a good idea, it's THE LAW.

HELL YEAH!

In the Old West, being ON BALLS had a totally different meaning. It had more ACTION to it!

YEE HAW! HELL YEAH!

There's no ACTION like FATAL ACTION!

HELL YEAH! (although, I prefer Sub-Zero.)

Proof that Canadians know ACTION!

HELL YEAH, EH?

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1876, frontiersman "Wild Bill" Hickok was shot and killed while playing poker at a saloon in Deadwood, Dakota Territory. HELL YEAH!

The CoMANdments according to Dr. R.J. "THE ACTION TURK" Murk!

Dr. Murk cares about the rights and lives of MEN. Are you a MAN? Are you sure? Then pull down your pants in public and declare to thyself to the thine own world!

Oh, yeah, and read these:

1. You are a man. You will never understand a women, satisfy a women, trust a woman, or be able to live without a woman.
2. Never humiliate yourself just to prove you're the craziest unless some other f*cker's going to really show you up.
3. Women buy cards. Men shake hands.
4. Go to church every Sunday except during: the summer, footbal season, bad weather, hangover time, all day breakfast marathon or any other convenient excuse.
5. Thou shalt not name thy penis.
6. Thou shalt get angry and loud first, apologize first and rationalize the whole f*cked up situation first.
7. Kill only when necessary.
8. Thou shalt not admit to coveting another man's possesions.
9. Thou shalt not admit to coveting another man's wife or girlfriend.
10. Thou shalt use the truth to hide the truth. Never lie to a woman because they'll know.

Then, go here. HELL YEAH!

How girls get their daily dose of ACTION!

Cheese curls? HELL YEAH!

Even cleaning mold can be ACTION PACKED!

HELL YEAH!
LOOK AT THAT SHINE!

Cuba knows ACTION!

HELL YEAH THEY DO! And this guy knows where to look for it.

Even dead Presidents know ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

The Captain's ACTION Policies

PART 2:

• Learn how to use obscure objects as deadly weapons. This would include, but not be limited to, iceberg lettuce heads, digital music players, legal sized paper, cubical wall sections and used motor oil.
  
• Always... no, no... never... forget to check your references.
• Don't e-mail when you can HE-mail (or SHE-mail for the ladies)
  
• If someone asks you how your day is going, respond by squinting your eyes and breathing heavily out your nose. Clinch your fists.
  
• Getting a tattoo? Well, then get a tattoo of you getting a tattoo. HELL YEAH!
  
• Moustache wax is NOT for pussies. Monocles are.
• Keep giving your friends new nicknames. Never use the same nickname twice.
• Going to the beach? Keep calling it The Bitch and tell everyone you're going to walk all over it.
• Need some spontaneous ACTION? Punch a priest.
• Everyone loves guns. E V E R Y O N E.
  

Speaking of guns... GUNS AND ACTION!

HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION history!

On this date in 1966, 25-year-old Charles Joseph Whitman went on a shooting rampage at the University of Texas clock tower in Austin, killing 14 people with a high-powered rifle. Whitman, who had also murdered his wife and mother hours earlier, was gunned down by police.

HELL YEAH!

Looking to get more ACTION out of your children's hamster?

Well, as usual,
The Cap'n can help!
HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION MAN!

Baron K.C. "Ack Ack" Flachmatuffen, III was born in the United States but, as a young child, managed to escape in a hot air balloon during the Jimmy Carter presidency only to return when Clinton was impeached. (Ack Ack has a soft spot for peaches.)

Self described as being "not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground," Ack Ack is known as a serious ladies man.

With an unending thirst for ACTION, Ack Ack almost always carries a concealed weapon and no less than ten frozen hot dogs. After all, you never know when you might need a loaded gun and a quick meal.

Currently working for the CIA in an undisclosed sales position (what he is selling at the CIA is of great concern to various foreign powers,) Ack Ack is master of disguise and a lover of "B" movies, home made internet porn and Kellogg's Frosted Flakes. HELL YEAH!

At this time, Ack Ack is considering running for President against Murk & Malach in 2008 and waiting for his red back pack to arrive.

WHOA. That's some military ACTION right there!

HELL YEAH!

Today's Critical ACTION Advice from The Cap'n!

When Mr. Potato Head offers you some premo acid... JUST SAY NO.

HELL NO.

I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymo'!

Every now and then even the black tin man gets some ACTION.

HELL YEAH!

Come get some monkey ACTION!

BANG! BANG!

HELL YEAH!

How Mel Gibson likes his ACTION!

"I like to rip the face off of Jesus!

HELL YEAH, MATE!"

A little craps ACTION anyone?

HELL YEAH!

MARIO PARTY + HAN = ACTION!

Han found some hardcore ACTION in Neon Heights.

HELL YEAH!

Here's some hot red neck ACTION for ya!

HELL YEAH!

Today's ACTION Advertisement!

HELL YEAH!

You don't have an old school submarine?

Then you don't have any old school ACTION!
SUX2BU?
HELL YEAH!

Today in ACTION History!

On this date in 1971, Apollo 15 astronauts David R. Scott and James B. Irwin take a six- hour electric car ride on Moon. Is that ON BALLS? HELL YEAH!

Some extremely critical information for the Tron ACTION Man in you.

Good luck, programs.

Come get some...

...SPACE ACTION!
HELL YEAH!

He might not look so crazy, but Gizmo knows ACTION!

ACTION RULE: When you're knee deep in it, block your ears.